My name is Cathlin

Well as the above title says, my name is Cathlin. My mother found it out of a baby book that claimed it was the Irish enduring form of Catherine. It means "little Kate." It also means "pure." My parents pronounced it "KATH-lin" just like it looks with the accent on the first syllable. NOT "kath-LIN." I guess my mom had wanted a Katie, but her sister-in-law beat her to the punch. Maybe she didn't think she could name me Katie since I had a cousin Katie, but we never lived near any of our extended family so it wouldn't have caused much mix-up.

My full name was Cathlin Jennifer McGee. I can still hear mom holler, "CATHLIN JENNIFER!" I always thought Jennifer was too long of a middle name. That is why Emily's middle name is Marie (after her great-grandma) and Rachel's is Anne (after a family friend who passed away).

My dad wanted to name me "Fulda." They lived in Fulda, West Germany at the time. I don't know WHAT he was thinking, but thankfully my mom put her foot down. Can you imagine being called FULDA? It sounds FULL, like "heavy", like a "Helga", like a large ankled, big-boned, 6 foot tall masculine woman with a kerchief over her tightly-pulled-back hair, thick hair on her lip, no makeup or jewelry to decorate her stern face, wearing a plain brown dress with an apron and thick soled heavy brown shoes. A woman who could and WOULD beat you with her rolling pin or broom if you tried to cross her. I am NOT a Fulda.

My parents called me "Callie" when I was growing up. Some of my friends adopted this name for me after meeting my parents and hearing them call me Callie. "Callie" simply means "beautiful." I have other nicknames: "Calico", "Calamity" and "Calliope."

I went by Callie in grade school until one year I was in class with a Kelly. It was confusing so I changed it to Cathlin. "Cathlin" was a pain because I had to spell it and pronounce it for EVERYONE. Everyone wanted to call me Cathrine or Cathleen. And if they got the pronunciation, they would inevitably spell it wrong "Kathlyn." And it got so old that I began answering to anything remotely close: Cathy, Cat, Caitlin, etc. It seems like the next year I was in class with a Catherine or Kathleen, and I realized I was never going to win. The only bonus was when someone FINALLY got it right, they would usually say, "Cath-lin. I've never heard that before. What a pretty name." And I would answer, "Thanks."

Back to the nicknames. Here is the origin of "Calico." I guess I cried a LOT as a baby. And my mom would be at her wit's end with me. Nothing new there. So my dad would take me in his arms and pace around the house and sing to me a song he made up just for me:

Ca-li-co
Ca-li-co
Pret-ty lit-tle ba-by
Ca-li-co
Ca-li-co
Pret-ty lit-tle girl

See her blue eyes
See her smile
See her big-round tears
When she cries

Ca-li-co
Ca-li-co
Pret-ty lit-tle ba-by
Ca-li-co
Ca-li-co
Pret-ty lit-tle girl

My dad generally didn't have much patience when I was growing up and would yell when he got frustrated. So it means even more that he was able to remain calm and soothe me when I cried and cried and cried. The song was such a hit I sang it for Emily. "Em-i-ly, Em-i-ly, pretty little baby..."

Now the "Calamity" nickname came from my Uncle Mutt-my maternal great-uncle I think is the relation. When I was around 2 or 3 years old, we lived in Lawrence, Kansas near my Uncle Mutt. I guess we would visit him and once I cornered their dog and put my fingers in his nose. I guess I also took the plug dangling from some kitchen appliance, maybe a toaster?, and sat in a corner next to their crate of potatoes and pushed that plug INTO the potatoes repeatedly. I don't know if they actually caught me in the act on that one or realized after the fact when the potatoes started to rot. I don't remember doing those things, but it does make me laugh, because it seems like I was just doing my own little toddler experiments on the world. I can even hear the crisp noise the plug probably made as it entered the pototoes and I possibly got some potato juice on my fingers.

I don't know who gave me the nickname "Calliope" but it means "one with a beautiful voice" and from what I hear I have loved to sing since very young. So it fits.

Here is a funny story:
When I was around 27, my friend Mary was getting married in Boston, so I flew out to be in the wedding party. I met her husband-to-be and all his family. They kept calling me "Kate-lin," so I corrected them. However they were IRISH, and they said to me, "Oh, in Ireland, we pronounce that spelling 'Kate-lin." It hit me then. My mother had mispronounced my name my WHOLE life! Remember? "The Irish enduring form of Catherine, meaning 'little Kate.'" It all hit me then. I had been LIVING A LIE for almost THIRTY years! I was actually supposed to be 'Kate-lin!' I remember having a chuckle over that, but the 'Kate-lin' pronunciation just didn't fit me. I was already established as a 'Cath-lin', and so 'Cath-lin' I shall stay.

Avril has never faired better. She pronounces her name "av-Rell" with the accent on the SECOND syllable. Everyone gets it wrong. Her dad actually says "av-Rill." After Avril Lavigne became famous, it got worse, because the singer has the accent on the FIRST syllable. I call her work and ask to speak to her and I get back, "Ralph? We don't have a Ralph here." I usually have to say it three times WITH her last name before they get it. Hard to hear the soft first syllable over the phone I guess. It is really frustrating.

Since we both have weird names, when we go to a restaurant that takes your name to put on a list, we use the name "Barbie." That has always been a little joke of ours. Avril started it a long time ago and it was so funny because "Barbie" is the last name she would ever have. She has no "Barbie" qualities about her with her dark hair and eyes. She never wears makeup or girlie clothes, so this would make me laugh. She can always make me laugh. But it seemed an easy and humorous remedy to the problem with pronunciation and spelling of BOTH our names, so we continue to use the name "Barbie" to this day.

I cannot tell you why our names are unique. My older brother is Matt, my sister is Sara. Avril's brother is Sean. All normal names. We gave the kids normal names to spare them the same issues.

Another topic is last names. Avril and I have our ex-husband's last names. We have kept them because our kids still carry those last names. We have talked about changing our last names to something else and sharing that last name since we are all but married. We just haven't landed on the right name yet. Avril has sentimental ties to her maiden name "Stewart" because of her dad and uncle Carl and memories on Guam. Even her mom kept her married name of "Stewart." But Cathlin Stewart just doesn't roll off the tongue.

"McGee" doesn't hold much for me. It makes me think of my folks, my mom mostly, and currently that is more a negative association than a positive one. Though technically my mom is a Henry, probably more a Heiserman like her mom. I am NOT much of a Henry in temperment in a family of Henrys. Henrys are more reserved and proper with a slight air of superiority. Oh I can have the superiority, don't get me wrong. I am just not as proper or reserved. I am a little more "out there" and am more likely to say what I mean and point out the elephant in the room. That got me in trouble a lot. I feel more ties to the McGee name because of my female McGee cousins who are beautiful and strong and say what they mean, probably more than I do. But then that trait probably comes from my Grandma McGee (God rest her soul) who was really a Knighton. So see why it is hard to think of what last name I should really have? So by default and practicality I will stay a Berreth until my kids are graduated and out on their own. I can pick that issue up again when the time comes.

Avril gives me little pet names. Currently I am "muffin" or "love muffin" or "muffin head." I think the "muffin head" came when I was losing my hair from chemotherapy, but I can't remember. Maybe it is just to differentiate me from "muffin top", which is something I don't have a problem with, always being on the slender side. The muffin name may be indirectly associated with other intimate terms like "muff" for those thinking that already, but we aren't going there. "Muffin" sounds a bit air-headish, which I admit I can be. But I don't mind the name when it comes from Avril. Because she says it with such affection. "Hows my little muffin head?" It DOES look hokey typed out, but I can hear her voice saying that phrase and it makes me smile.

I think all names are probably that way. When those special people say your name, it sounds like music. It is good to be known and loved, isn't it? That makes me think of the theme song for Cheers:

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,

And they're always glad you came;

You want to be where you can see,

Our troubles are all the same;

You want to be where everybody knows your name.


May everyone have somewhere they can go that is like that. A place where they are known and loved. A place to relax and be yourself with others. A place where everybody knows your name.